PUTTING THE "YOU" IN "HUMILIATION."

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By: superfan

Somehow, you manage to fall asleep without realizing it. Because, the next thing you know, there's a harsh grating sound and a thunderous voice yelling (with sadistic loudness):

"Wakey-wakey!!!"

It's your captor, Alexandra the Great. She is once again in full regalia (top hat, semi-tuxedo with tails, etc.). And it was her magic wand, scraping back and forth across the bars of your bird cage, that made that grating noise.

"Rise and shine, Ali Bubba! It's ten minutes to show time."

"Big deal!" you mumble to yourself. Then, something occurs to you.

"Why did you just call me...?"

She doesn't even wait for you to finish the question. She simply lowers her hand mirror in front of the cage door. And you see, for yourself, that she has somehow fashioned a white turban and matching loin cloth for you out of Scotch tape and cotton balls.

You look like Sam Jaffe as Gunga Din! And forty minutes later, on stage, it becomes all-too obvious why.

"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen! Now, for my grand finale', I present to you...Ali Bubba The Dancing Doll Man! Dance for us, Ali...if you PLEASE!!"

Whereupon, the house orchestra begins to play that old classic "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)." While you break into a poor man's version of a belly dance.

Your choices:

  1. After the show, Alex shows you off to a lesbian groupie.
  2. Something else happens.

Retrieved September 13, 2016