BEING CRUEL TO BE KIND

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By: superfan

"So, Joe, how did you get like this?"

You give her the (by-now) old schpiel about having been shrunk in a lab accident. And, how Ariel had been taking you home--from an inadvertent side-trip to Brazil--to see some scientists who might be able to reverse this condition. True, you're lying through your teeth. But, after all; nobody in their right mind would believe in a genie (a la Barbara Eden). No matter how many shrunken people they might hold in their hands!

"You poor thing, you," Kim coos in sympathy: "Well, you must be hungry after that long flight. So, what say I fix you something to eat?"

As if in agreement, your stomach begins growling

"Sure, why not?" you reply: "Afterward, though, could I contact my friend, Ariel? So, she could come over and pick me up?"

"We'll see," Kim says, with a smile.

You frown a little bit. You were hoping for a slightly more positive response than that. Yet, as you look around Kim's apartment (from where she deposits you on the dining room table), you see all kinds of posters on the surrounding walls. Each of them showing some kind of baby animal. And, each of them captioned with either a slogan about preventing cruelty to animals. Or, adopting stray and orphaned animals.

So, you feel a little more reassured about your current hostess. And, that feeling of reassurance is increased when she cooks up a grilled ham-and-cheese sandwich. A small triangular slice of which, she cuts off and gives to you.

[Well, it might be small to her. But, to you, it's a meal in itself!]

When you're through eating, you make sure to thank Kim for her kindness. Then, as gentlemanly as possible, you ask if she'll telephone Ariel for you, now.

"You poor thing!" Kim says again: "You must be really anxious to get home."

And, you nod.

"Well, don't worry," she continues: "I've got your new home, right here."

Whereupon, she reaches down beneath the dining room table, and brings back up...

Your choices:

  1. ...a bird cage!
  2. ...a hamster cage!

Retrieved September 13, 2016